Must get this book and (after reading it) leave it around the house for my daughter to get a look at. She hasn't quite grasped what being a bitch looks like, which is surprising, when you consider that I've been role-modelling that one her entire life ... one thing this book does seem to miss, though (just from reading the description) is the fact that according to what studies there are, being assertive in school and in jobs doesn't actually get women anywhere, which is why, as rational creatures, we don't do it. If a man has a temper tantrum, he's being appropriately manly, and gets a raise and a bigger office. If a woman does, she's being a hysterical bitch and she loses all her credibility (and doesn't get what she wants, either). If a man demands a pay raise, good for him! He knows his worth. Give him the money. If a woman demands a pay raise, who does she think she is? Sideline her, she's "difficult".
So girls may learn to be "good" not just because self-confidence is systematically beaten out of them from puberty onwards, but because being assertive and confident will not get them anything they want, and in fact will be interpreted negatively by teachers, colleagues and employers. Better to learn to sound diffident. And the best way to remember to do that consistently is to BE diffident, and just hope that everyone will be nice to you because really you're not worth very much - if you try hard enough, it's easy enough to believe that.
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