Image via WikipediaIn that imaginary life, I'm the kind of person who faithfully goes to bed at 10 or at latest 11, and gets up early to go for a run, because my classes have all been prepared the evening (or possibly even the week) before, so there's never a mad a.m. scramble of dear God I thought I had that lecture somewhere OMG I haven't even read the text yet where are the images! I was supposed to make up the exam when? and life proceeds on an even and cheerful keel and I even have time to get dinner going first thing in the morning, make the children's lunches, make sure they've got their homework (which, in this fantasy life, I helped them with the night before) and wave them off to school with a cheery smile before heading out myself. In this fantasy I am already dressed and have had breakfast before the children get up. In this fantasy, I suspect I got up at 4 a.m. But whatever.
In the fantasy, I have ample free time and the concentration and energy to do something with it. I'm not spending all this extra time that has mysteriously appeared in my life writing (or even reading) for publication, because the very thought of doing that causes me enough anxiety that I hastily shy away from it. I mean I can't even imagine, as a fantasy, enjoying doing that. And I truly do not enjoy reading most of the things that are published in my field anyway. These activities have no place in a fantasy life; they are very much Real World. They may be why I fantasize in the first place.
In this fantasy life, I sew a lot. Marvellous things. Mostly for me, though occasionally for my family. And during term time I find myself wistfully buying patterns, more and more patterns, as a promise to myself that the time WILL come that I will be able to muster the energy, and time, and concentration to make them all, every one of them.
This term my fantasy life has been particularly rich and compelling, thanks to a great pattern sale at Vogue (also Butterick and McCall's, but Vogue really caught my eye). Now I have never made a Vogue pattern - I have aspired to do so many times, judging from my pattern stash - but never actually tried. But my fantasy life has apparently decided that's what I want to do.
So, by way of sharing my fantasies, here are all the patterns I have bought this term; I mean since September. In my dreams, I have the time and even the skill to make every one of these things, and furthermore, they will all look fantastic.
These fantasy projects come in many different styles. There are the ones I might conceivably be able to make, and the ones so far beyond my skill set only complete ignorance would make me consider them. There are the ones I might even wear somewhere, and the ones that even if I could make them, I'd have to remake my entire image - not to mention my body - to take them out of the house. But still I'll tell myself, happily, "I could wear this to teach!" Or, "Ooh, just the thing for lounging about the house!" - as if I ever wear anything when lounging about the house besides old Course Union t-shirts* and yoga pants.
So here are this term's fantasies. I've bought every one of these patterns since September. If I quit my job and did nothing but sew, it would still take me a year - or so - to make them all:
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*My favourite is the one with the steatopygous Venus captioned "magnae clunes mihi placent, nec possum de hac re mentiri."** I forget which year's union produced it.
** Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back", translated into Latin. For an interlineated translation, translated back into English for added hilarity, and with lengthy scholarly discussion in the notes (I'm not making any of this up), click the link.
(Patterns below the fold)
